Ask how much an engagement ring should cost and someone will quote a number of months' salary: one, two or three, depending on who you ask. It sounds like old wisdom. It is actually a line from an advertising campaign, and it was written to sell diamonds, not to help anyone plan their finances.
Where the rule came from
In the 1930s, the diamond company De Beers began advertising in the United States to persuade people that an engagement needed a diamond ring. Its advertising suggested spending about one month's salary on it. In the 1980s a later De Beers campaign raised the figure: “two months' salary” became its best-known line. The three-month version is a further stretch of the same idea.
None of these figures came from jewellers, families or financial planners. They were set by the company that sold the stones, and each one asked buyers to spend more than the last.
Why it doesn't fit today
- It ignores your circumstances. A salary says nothing about debt, rent, dependants or what you already have saved. Two people on the same salary can have very different amounts to spare.
- It ignores what else is coming. In South Africa the ring is often one cost among several — lobola in many families, the wedding itself, a home. Money spent on the ring is not available for those.
- It assumes one kind of stone. The rule was written when a diamond was the only choice people were shown. Today the same look can cost a fraction of that.
- It encourages debt. Three months' pay is more than most people have in cash, so the rule quietly assumes credit. Starting a marriage with repayments for a ring is not a good trade.
A better way to set a budget
Start with what you can pay in cash
Look at what you have saved and what you can put aside over the next few months without touching your emergency fund. That figure is your budget. If it is lower than you hoped, that is useful to know now, not after the proposal.
Decide what matters most
Talk about it if you can, or listen closely if it is a surprise. Some people care most about the size of the stone, others about the metal, the design, or wearing the ring every day without worrying about it. Put the money where it will be noticed.
Split it between the stone and the setting
A ring is a centre stone plus the metal and the jeweller's work. The stone usually takes the larger share, and it has by far the widest range of prices. Price the setting with a jeweller, then see what is left for the stone — or choose the stone first and design a setting to suit. Our guide to what an engagement ring costs covers metals, side stones and the costs people forget, such as resizing and insurance.
How moissanite changes the maths
With moissanite, the stone no longer has to swallow most of the budget. Our prices follow weight alone, in DEF colourless and VVS clarity, whatever the cut:
| Round size | Weight (DEW) | Price |
|---|---|---|
| 5mm | 0.50 ct | R 1 600 |
| 6.5mm | 1.00 ct | R 2 400 |
| 7.5mm | 1.50 ct | R 3 200 |
| 8mm | 2.00 ct | R 4 000 |
That leaves room in the budget for a better setting, a heavier band, or simply for the wedding. It also means you can choose the size you actually want rather than the size the budget allows. For comparison, a lab-grown diamond of the same size costs at least twice as much as moissanite, and a mined, colourless 1 ct diamond costs well over R100,000. The full price list is in our moissanite price guide.
We sell the loose stone; any good jeweller can set it. Every stone comes with a certificate of authenticity, a lifetime warranty, free tracked courier and 14-day returns, and is shown at true size on a hand on its page, so you can see the size before you commit. Browse the stones.
The short version
Forget the months. Work out what you can pay in cash, decide whether the stone or the setting matters more, and spend accordingly. A ring bought without debt is a better start than one bought to meet an advertising slogan.
What is the 3 month salary rule for an engagement ring?+
It is the idea that you should spend three months' salary on an engagement ring. It grew out of De Beers diamond advertising, which suggested one month's salary in the 1930s and two months' in the 1980s. It was a sales line, not a tradition.
How many months' salary should you spend on an engagement ring?+
There is no right number of months. Spend what you can pay in cash without touching your emergency savings, and plan for the other costs ahead, such as the wedding.
Is the 3 month salary rule still relevant?+
No. It ignores debt, living costs and other commitments, and it was written when diamond was the only stone buyers were shown. A budget based on your own savings is a better guide.
How much should an engagement ring cost?+
As much as you can comfortably pay, split between the stone and the setting. The stone decides most of the price: a 1.00 ct round moissanite costs R 2 400 at Moissanite SA, which leaves more of the budget for the setting.
Who started the engagement ring salary rule?+
The diamond company De Beers, through its advertising in the United States: one month's salary in the 1930s, and the well-known two months' salary campaign of the 1980s.